Archive for August, 2009
What’s Love Got To Do, Got To Do With It?
Tina Turner says it’s nothing by a second hand emotion; a sweet old fashioned notion. Girl with the gams might have been a tad bit jaded when she penned the famous lyrics (recall the bruises that the “love” of the late Ike left her with) but still, she had a point.
Once upon a more intelligent time, in fact, basically since the beginning of time, people married to perpetuate the financial and political mandates of the involved families. Marriages were arranged in order to promote the success of each family; a sort of mercenary union, the original merger and acquisition. Love may or may not have ensued but divorce certainly did not. Today, it seems, marrying for dollars and common “cents” is less admirable than marrying for romance and yet divorce is at an all time high. Actually, marrying for love is not only admired but set as our greatest goal; the one that I am certain, prevents us bright and capable women from never achieving that other little goal – having it all.
Having it all and being responsible for it all are two very different things yet somehow, this is the stupidity of the myth of love and its cloud of delusion that women continue to buy into everyday. Rather than marrying the man who offers greener pastures, we marry the man who offers the gaze of green eyes. Then, years later, we’re stunned and horrified when we discover his gorgeous green eyes have nothing behind them and have been spending “late nights at the office” starring down the bursting bosom of a younger and hotter us. It’s like being shocked and upset when you don’t win the lottery. At least you had the sense to not put every one of your hard earned pennies into the sweaty palm of the quickie mart clerk in exchange for that ticket to poverty.
I admit that sometimes, green-eyed gaze guy may offer something more than a life of doing it all. By this I mean the high and mighty opportunity to work all day, cook and clean all night, bear and raise his children, age, wrinkle, and be merry. Green-eyed gaze guy may be somewhat intelligent and even willing to put down his GameBoy to notice that you’ve been spending your free time (the little that you’re left with) noticing the younger hotter version of him. Or, he may be downright perfect and 40 years into your marriage, Viagra free, the two of you will still be hanging from the chandeliers, albeit lucite and not crystal. Congratulations if this last sounds like you. You’re a social anomaly and all at once, the most awe and barf inspiring thing known to man (women actually).
So, women who can do it all – do your homework and invest wisely. Bank on the guy who will provide the greatest return. And if it is illustrious love that you’re after, you can love him for being Established – smart, charismatic, successful, generous and your greatest supporter; whatever you’d like that to mean.
Sub note: If my darling husband is reading this, worry not. We are among the awe and barf inspiring and I love you.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )Hot for Teacher
As the infamous song goes, “I think of all the education that I missed, but then my homework was never quite like this”. You men all “got it bad, got it bad, got it bad”, you’re “hot for teacher”. I get it. The quintessential grade school mistress, poised and even uptight in her buttoned-to-there blouse and curve-clenching pencil skirt, hair held tightly back with the pins of politics and those thickly rimmed glasses – one more blockade between you and those hypnotic bedroom eyes. You wasted countless hours staring up that Bermuda Triangle that her crossed mile long legs made when she gifted you with a lesson plan taught while perched upon the edge of her desk. Don’t you still fantasize about ripping her blouse open and watching her pearl buttons fly across the room while her cascades of honey-hued locks tumble past her shoulders to those perfectly perky breasts? Bent over the desk; I won’t even ask what you’d be willing to give to join the ranks of the prodigal few.
You clearly learned your lessons well. You’re doctors, lawyers, entertainers, executives, professionals, hard working, and successful men. Seems that no matter how much you managed to file under education, you likely missed the most important lesson you will ever learn: How to Make Teacher Hot for You.
I recently received a comment to one of my blogs, from a high school English teacher named Danielle. She confessed to hitting a major roadblock out on the dating scene leading her to believe that a true lady cannot meet a real man at a bar. Considering her profession, she couldn’t even risk trying any longer. She’s setup a profile here at EstablishedMen.com and now has impressive and desirable men approaching her. Thing is, a ruby red apple just won’t cut it and she’s looking to give out an A+.
Lessons 1 through 1000000: Character is Key
No matter what you look like in your profile picture and what clever moniker you may have chosen for your screen name, the content of your profile bio will make or break the deal even before anyone’s sat down at the negotiating table. Character is key and can’t be hidden under the rug. The beautiful women of EstablishedMen.com are all looking for the same thing; a balanced blend of humor, charm and above all, CONFIDENCE. Be clear about who you are, what you do, what you have to offer that your competition doesn’t and state it all with strength and wit. Your profile could read as a wanted ad as one top-rated Established Man once did. Another made a list of characters from movies he was most like and then proceeded to offer a quick synopsis of the blockbuster he was casting the starring role for. These profiles were intriguing, compelling and left the women of EM wanting more. Self-indulgent maybe, but tell me, what’s sexier than a man (or woman even) who knows what they are and can flaunt it all the while knowing just the right moment to throw in a sprinkling of schtick? Go off the deep end of self-promotion and you’ll sink like a lead zeppelin. Temper your conceit with comicality and creativity and you’re guaranteed to come off as well-rounded, approachable and proof that someone up there was listening when she begged for the perfect man. Remember, character is what one is; reputation is what one is thought to be by others.
Assuming that this works, you’re bombarded with beautiful women throwing their digital underpinnings at you and you finally select one or even a few more than a few, to meet, keep the following close to heart. (Write it on the sweaty palm of your hand if you need to):
- She’s the only woman in the room
- She’s even more beautiful in person (be specific, eyes/hair…)
- Ask her about her day and reference it to find some common ground
- Do tell her about yourself (family, successes, only one thing you’re working on)
- Do NOT talk about previous relationships unless asked and even then, talk about what you’ve taken away from it rather than admitting that you still sob yourself to sleep every night
- Find out what she has planned for herself and acknowledge her sense of purpose and enterprise
- Allow her to remind you of your earlier self, on the brink of greatness; just like her.
- Let her know that you may have some interesting ideas which could help her with her “…” and that you’d love to get together again to talk about it, if she’d like.
- Share a secret – you’re establishing a level of intimacy
- Hold her gaze a little longer than expected
- Follow her lead and invade her personal space by no more than a hair, when you feel she’s welcoming it
- Hold open doors, pull out chairs and stand up while she walks away from a table to use a restroom
- Do not feel as though you need to turn off your cell phone but do obviously ignore incoming calls so to say that where you are is the only place you want to be
- Befriend her pets
- If at a unique restaurant, be daring and try what she’s ordering. If she likes it, it must be good, right?
- Be cordial to those around you and if appropriate, tip generously
- Offer a small gift; generous in nature but relevant to something she may have mentioned in a previous online conversation.
- Manscape!!! Groomed hair, nails and skin are imperative. Clean ears, nostrils and fresh breath are non-negotiables. Clothing should be pressed if required. Body hair is a breeding ground for gross
- Laugh together – ah, something in common
- Find out what her idea of a perfect date is and plan to surprise her with it on date #2.
- Have a non-expired condom on hand (I don’t mean in your hand and ready to use when you first meet)
- If the meeting does end in the bedroom, pace yourself, give and you shall receive, for heaven’s sake, do NOT ask “how was it?”
- Next blog will be about sexcapades with a femme fatale. Don’t worry.
- HAVE FUN
Do keep an eye out for Danielle. All this extra credit is sure to count for something.
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The Princess Perspective 